Wife left me to find herself, 21 year old had an affair and says she is happy.?
Short recap of a months events. Last month my wife of 2 1/2 years, known each other for 4 years went to Las Vegas with her best friend. We have always been very closed, worked together at the same place, lived together, bought our home 5 months ago. We have had our share of fights mainly because she would get so out of control screaming and crying around the house and i am ashamed to say it got physical on both parts. She had recently started taking alot of pictures with her best friend in our bathroom i guess trying to build up their self steem and now i am coming to the conclusion that I need to let go of her and this is why. A month ago during her trip to Las Vegas, she met a Swiss guy and kissed at the club then later hung out with him. She says nothing happened the first time but after her 4 day trip was over, her and her friend took 2 more trips and she did everything with the guy. 4th trip took place a couple of weeks ago and the guy bought her a plane ticket for San Diego where he rents a beach house. He has gone back to his country and has plans to come back to hang out with her in Vegas in December. That month is going to be so hard for me, we got married the day of my birthday. I know this is stupid and we have had sex 3 times since then but not spoken or seen eachother for a week. She would tell me she is confused and is happy and confident that she now knows that she doesnt have to cry for me and she doesnt want to settle. I am stuck in a position where I have the responsibility for my mortgage and she wants to sign off the house to me by december. I have always been supportive throughout this and I told her to live life without regrets and only one time did she break down through text messages and calling me but i never answered. She seems to be enjoying her single life with her friends. Ive had so much support from people at church and am getting biased opinions about this. I am leaving the country for 3 weeks this week to clear my mind but of course i am not going down to her level. She tells me she is in love with me and that she feels that she may be the one for me later on. Should I have cast her out and ignore her texts that range from "i am going to pick up the rest of my things" "are you happy" "did you drop the college classes". I am trying to be strong but these emotions really suck I believe in my heart that we can be strong together but then again I am a 21 year old that needs a lot of changes in his life. Please if you have any advice, I really want to help her and I dont know if I should have told her to not communicate with me. Thank You
Look man obviously this is a real hard time for you right now but honestly you need to get away from her as far as you can. She says that she will be the one later on. That means if things don’t work out fore her you are her only option. You deserve better than that man. I wish I was your age, knowing what I know now. You must overcome it and be as strong as you can. You need motivation to move on and that’s what going to make you stronger in order to forget her. Yes, she did mean alot to you but look at what she is doing. It’s not healthy on her part. Don’t do it man. Let me tell you something about me man. I was married for five years with my ex-wife. Things weren’t going right for both of us but I still wanted to be with her but she had other intentions. We had two girls together who are five and four years old. When we were together out fifth year, she was having an affair with another guy, I told her that I would forgive her if she would let whatever she was having go. She agreed. A couple of months later she was pregnant, not by me but another guy. I found out too late, and now she is with the other guy and my two little girls. The other guy is jealous of me that I cannot come around and see my little girls. If I get arrested, I lose but I have taken it too court. It killed me when I found out but I stayed strong. I wanted to die but I didn’t. I found something to keep me motivated which is my children. I am almost done with college which I anticipate it for next year. I don’t let it affect me much since the motivation in me is that much greater. Keep you mind at ease. Focus on the rest of your life. Right know it may not seem that way but you will get through this. You will find better and achieve what you want most in life. Hope this helps, peace
September 26th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
I’m pretty sure my previous incarnation answered this question yesterday.
She doesn’t want to be married to you. If she’s even real.
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September 26th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
This is not the woman you are going to grow old and die with. She was not mature enough to marry. Let her go.
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September 26th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Man…that sucks…you just have to go with your gut on this…I would advice talking to a lawyer and finding out what your options are…I would make sure that if you can’t afford the mortgage that he name stays on it until something is resolved…Don’t let her take advantage of you…and I think you were right to loss contact with her…I mean you should have enough self confidence to not want her after she left you to be with other men…she can’t say she loves you and still break your marriage vows…make sure she does not screw you financially or ruin your credit and then move on and never look back…your too good for that
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September 26th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
It takes two to make a successful marriage. If only one is willing to make a go of it, it is doomed. She has her agency to decide what she wants to do with her life. She may love you, but NOT as a husband. There are many forms of love, but she does NOT love you as a spouse. It’s best this came out than after you have had kids.
Now what to do. It’s obvious that you purchased the house assuming you would have two incomes to pay for it. Well that’s not happening…so get the divorce, have her sign it all over to you then sell it. Give her all her junk and then change the locks on your house. Have all your bank accounts, wills, cars and anything else changed into your name only. Take as much as she’s willing to give while she’s feeling noble and generous. Once it’s all done, never look or go back to her. You better hurry up and get it done, because this new guy will eventually dump her and she will be wanting to come back. At that point it’s too late and she won’t be so generous. To her you’re second rate material, and only good for using if her number one pick isn’t around. That may be hard to hear, but it is the truth. GET OUT! and GET OUT FAST! Be grateful you don’t have any kids by her! And whatever you do don’t BANG her. She may get preggers from that one time and then you’re up a creek without a paddle!
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September 26th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
YOU ASKED THIS QUESTION FIVE TIMES…I L@@KED
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September 26th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Look man obviously this is a real hard time for you right now but honestly you need to get away from her as far as you can. She says that she will be the one later on. That means if things don’t work out fore her you are her only option. You deserve better than that man. I wish I was your age, knowing what I know now. You must overcome it and be as strong as you can. You need motivation to move on and that’s what going to make you stronger in order to forget her. Yes, she did mean alot to you but look at what she is doing. It’s not healthy on her part. Don’t do it man. Let me tell you something about me man. I was married for five years with my ex-wife. Things weren’t going right for both of us but I still wanted to be with her but she had other intentions. We had two girls together who are five and four years old. When we were together out fifth year, she was having an affair with another guy, I told her that I would forgive her if she would let whatever she was having go. She agreed. A couple of months later she was pregnant, not by me but another guy. I found out too late, and now she is with the other guy and my two little girls. The other guy is jealous of me that I cannot come around and see my little girls. If I get arrested, I lose but I have taken it too court. It killed me when I found out but I stayed strong. I wanted to die but I didn’t. I found something to keep me motivated which is my children. I am almost done with college which I anticipate it for next year. I don’t let it affect me much since the motivation in me is that much greater. Keep you mind at ease. Focus on the rest of your life. Right know it may not seem that way but you will get through this. You will find better and achieve what you want most in life. Hope this helps, peace
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